The Lessons: Simple Yet Transformative

One of the most profound lessons in the book is learning to recognise what is within your control versus what isn’t.

Robbins emphasises that we waste so much time and emotional energy trying to change people—whether it’s a friend who doesn’t prioritise us, a partner who won’t commit, or a family member who refuses to see things our way.

Her advice? Let them. Let them make their choices, even if you don’t agree with them. Let them show you who they are through their actions.

This doesn’t mean you’re passive or disengaged—it means you’re choosing not to fight battles that aren’t yours to fight. Robbins pairs this concept with another critical piece of advice: after you “let them,” focus on “let me.” Let me decide how I want to respond. Let me set boundaries that protect my peace. Let me choose what kind of life I want to live.

For example, Robbins discusses situations like dealing with a friend who constantly cancels plans or a coworker who doesn’t pull their weight. Instead of chasing after people or trying to fix their behaviour, she suggests stepping back and observing.

Their actions will tell you everything you need to know about their priorities—and your job is to decide whether their behaviour aligns with your values and needs.

Applying the Theory: A Work in Progress

It’s only been a few days since I finished the book, so I can’t claim to have mastered all its lessons yet—but I’ve already started noticing small shifts in my mindset.

For instance, when someone didn’t respond to my message recently, instead of spiralling into overthinking or frustration (as I might have done before), I reminded myself: Let them. If they don’t reply, that’s their choice—and it has nothing to do with my worth or value.

Another moment came when I found myself wanting to explain my perspective in an argument with a family member. Normally, I’d feel compelled to convince them that I was right or try to change their mind. But this time, I stopped myself and thought: Let them believe what they want. Instead of engaging in a pointless debate, I chose peace over proving a point.

These might seem like small examples, but for me, they represent a significant shift in how I approach relationships and conflicts. It’s not about being passive or indifferent—it’s about conserving my energy for things that truly matter.

What Makes This Book Stand Out

What struck me most about Robbins’ writing is how conversational and relatable it feels. She doesn’t lecture or preach; instead, she shares personal anecdotes and practical advice that feel grounded in real life. The tone is empowering without being overwhelming—like receiving advice from a wise friend who genuinely wants you to thrive.

Compared to other self-help books I’ve read—like Brené Brown’s Daring Greatly or Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now—Robbins’ approach feels refreshingly practical.

While Brown focuses on vulnerability and connection and Tolle emphasises mindfulness and presence, Robbins zeroes in on actionable strategies for managing relationships and emotions in everyday life.

Her advice also reminded me of James Clear’s Atomic Habits, but with an emotional twist. Where Clear focuses on building systems for productivity, Robbins focuses on building systems for emotional peace—letting go of what doesn’t serve you so you can focus on what does.

The Cosmic Timing

As I reflected on Robbins’ lessons under the light of the full moon (yes, literally), I realised how much weight I’ve been carrying by trying to control things outside my power—whether it’s other people’s opinions, decisions, or actions. The book gave me permission to set that weight down.

Final Thoughts

The Let Them Theory isn’t just a self-help book—it’s an invitation to reclaim your energy and live more intentionally. It’s not about giving up on people; it’s about letting go of the need to control them so you can focus on building a life that aligns with your values.

While it may take time for these lessons to fully sink in (I’m still very much a work in progress), the ideas Robbins shares have already started shifting how I approach relationships and challenges in my life.

If you’re someone who struggles with overthinking or trying to manage others’ behaviour, this book might just be the nudge you need.