I went into The Next Conversation by Jefferson Fisher expecting just another self-help book about communication, but what I got was so much more.

This book didn’t just teach me how to speak better—it taught me how to show up in conversations with purpose, confidence, and clarity. Fisher, a skilled trial lawyer, knows the stakes of every word, and he brings that high-pressure wisdom into everyday life with practical, actionable advice that anyone can use.

As I read, I couldn’t help but draw parallels to ideas from Mel Gibbons’ The Let Them Theory and Sahil Bloom’s The 5 Types of Wealth. Those books were about relationships, self-control, and balance, and Fisher’s book tied it all together for me in a way that felt deeply personal.

Fisher’s insights reminded me that conversations aren’t just exchanges of words—they’re opportunities to grow, connect, and even redirect your energy toward the things that matter.

Key Tips from the Book

Fisher organises his book into three main pillars: "Say it with control, say it with confidence, and say it to connect."

Here are ten tips from the book that absolutely changed how I think about conversations:

Not everything deserves a response: This one hit me hard. There’s so much freedom in realising that you don’t always have to react. Sometimes the wisest thing you can say is nothing. Mel Gibbons’ philosophy in The Let Them Theory echoes this: let them say or do whatever they want—you get to choose how you respond.
Listen more than you speak: Fisher pushes us to silence our inner need to interrupt or “win” the conversation. Active listening—truly hearing and understanding the other person—is where you build trust.
Master the pause: There’s power in pausing before you speak. It’s not about hesitation but about choosing your words with intention. Fisher compares it to trial work—moments of silence can disarm the opposition and create space for clarity.
Frame your words positively: Even in conflict, you can frame messages in a way that’s constructive instead of combative. This reminded me of Bloom’s concept of “social wealth”—healthy relationships are a form of richness, and language is one of our strongest tools to nurture them.
Set boundaries, say no with grace: Fisher gives practical scripts for those tough moments when you need to assert yourself without creating unnecessary friction.
Ask open-ended questions: Conversations thrive on curiosity. Fisher emphasises the importance of asking questions that invite deeper dialogue instead of closing things off.
Focus on what you can control: This ties directly to Gibbons’ Let Them Theory. In interactions, people may behave badly, but you don’t have to stoop to their level. Staying in control of yourself is the ultimate power.
Be brief, but clear: Fisher’s advice to “say less, but better” is golden. Why overcomplicate things when clarity can make an impact?
Separate emotion from message: In heated moments, he encourages us to prioritise the goal of the conversation over emotional reactions. This takes practice, but it’s so worth it.
Make it about connection: Every conversation—whether low stakes or high stakes—is an opportunity to connect with someone. Fisher drives home the point that words aren’t just a tool; they’re a bridge to deeper understanding.