NGIZIZWA ngilulana, samuntu ohlubule. Ngithithibaliswa ukuthunazeka ezigabeni ezahlukene zobudoda kangangokuthi angisazi ukuthi ngizosithela ngemuva kwasiphi isidindi lapho ngingagcwaca khona ngibalekela ubumina.
Ngidode ngani kulesi sikhathi esikuso, lapho abobulili bami bephenduka izinqawunqawu ezijuqa obunye ubulili?
Nxashana kungathiwa amadoda awasondele nganeno, ngibona sengathi ngingangenwa yintolo emadolweni. Uma kukhona othinta ibizo labesilisa esidlangalaleni sengiye ngixinwe yisimo sokushobinga esingekho kuhle komuntu onesichenene njengendlela yokubalekela ichilo lokuthi owesilisa uyini emehlweni ezwe namuhla. Uma kuthintwa igama lobaba, ngenganywa ukuchobozela okusezingeni lomlobokazi oqala ukukhuluma noyisezala.
Abaphike, abaphikayo. Vele sidla gqokweni lunye nabenza inkinga yesihlava sokubulawa abesifazane umnqakiswano wobulili. Kodwa amanzi asengene endlini, agelezela eziko. Nezikhunyana zobuntu ebezisavutha seziyacima, amanzi aseyokwengama umsamo. Kubi! Ambalwa amakhaya anesakhiwo sobuntu, sekwakhiwa amathuna okungcwaba izidumbu ezikhiqizwa ngamadoda abulala omama bangomuso.
Ikhaya lakhiwa ubaba nomama, uma kukhona abasocongwayo usho ukuthi into ekhaya izoba umlando esizukulwaneni esizayo.
Esikhathini esingengakanani akakho, phakathi kwethu manjeza, ozokwazi ukugxumela ethala ahlenge izihlangu namaklwa obabamkhulu abakha ngawo lesi sizwe. Ukwembuleka kwethu izinqe sikubona ngokuthi kube namadoda akhalisa okwezimfengwane esola abesifazane ‘ngokundinda’. Bandida nobani? Asikho yini madoda endidiyeleni yokundinda?
Ukhona yini onempendulo kule mbedumehlwana yamadoda akhipha imiphefumulo yabesifazane? Akunamkhankaso osebenzayo. Uma kuke kwaba nenhlabamkhosi, kuba sengathi kunamadoda ahilwa yidimoni lokuthi awenze mawala le nkilayitheka engachazeki.
Sekulukhuni nokubabaza lo mkhuhlane. Isuke ingenwe hlobo luni lofufunyane indoda ehlahlela isimomondiya esithandayo, ize ibabale ithwebule lo muga iwuchithize ezinkundleni zokuxhumana?
Noma usumlobole lowo muntu, noma ngabe senizalisene izingane naye nathembisana iphakade, noma ngabe ubumthengele isiqhingi sokuqhiphotheka impilo yenu yonke, akwenzi mqondo ukumbeka isandla. Angisayiphathi-ke eyokumhlinza ebuka.
Uma umbulala kusho ukuthi isithandwa sakho usibona njengemfuyo okumele ihlatshwe uma nehluleka ukuqhuba isivumelwano sokuthandana. Ngiyaqoshamisa olimini, angizenzi yisimo senhlalo esigovozile nesiphoqa ukuba umlilo ubhulwe ngokuhlanekezela.
Okubhekene nathi madoda ukuthi ayikho enye indawo lapho isixazululo siyophuma khona. Kukuwo amadoda esizukulwane sethu ukuba asukume ngobuningi athi phinde! Banoyise bonke laba besilisa abajuqa izintombi, omasihlalisane, izesheli nomkabo. Oyise abagibele ophahleni lwezindlu bakhuze imihlola kuzwe wonke umuntu. Banabanewabo, banoninalume banabangani. Bonke laba abagcwale izitaladi baqhwishe kukhuzwe ibhadi.
Uma sikhuza mawala njengamadoda, siluphehle uzwathi lokuthi ukuphakamisa isandla nesikhali kowesifazane kuyalulaza, cishe kukhona inhlansi eyophembeka kwabasakhula.
Iqiniso lithi le nhlekelele akuseyona eyamaphoyisa, eyethu sizwe. Futhi akulona ihaba uma ngithi lapha esifundazweni sakithi kwelikaMthaniya sifuye amagovu azingela abesifazane egameni lothando kanti anukelwa yigazi nxa kuthunukala isikhwele.
Mina ngikuthola kunzima ukuqhubeka ngibizwe ngendoda ezweni eseliphenduke isilaha sokunquma izimbali ezingcwatshwa iviki neviki, zinqunywa abesilisa abaseduze esibaziyo sonke.
Akuseyona indaba yokuntela le njengoba kwenza inqwaba yamadoda aphawulayo belu lapha ezinkundleni zokuxhumana ethi "kanti ubemfebela, bekufanele". Yilokhu kuphawula okufinyeza ingqondo kula madoda acabanga ukuthi kuzoba sathe "qhwekle" ekhanda bese egunya abesifazane.
Awame amankemfu okuchitha izizungu kuthiwa "yile gender" nxa kunteliswana ngoba kukhona iziphuphutheki lapha emnyango ezimiliswa izimpiko ukukhuluma okunje.
Kungenzeka yini konje ukuthi imiteketiso yezinkomfa mbumbulu zamadoda eyembeswa ngezifengqo zokugxibha "ukungalungi kwabesifazane" ishayela ihlombe abenzi bala manyala?
Asizexwaye izintshumayelo zabavangeli abacasha ngemithetho yebandla nebhayibheli, benyayalata ekwelulekeni amadoda, kushushiswe ukuziphatha kwabesifazane sengathi babodwa kulesi sibondane.
Ayikhulunywe le, sizwe sakwethu. Ukuba yibutho likaFelaphakathi kwandisa impehlwa. Incithakalo isingaphezu kwamandla omuntu.
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