Terror of the ID10T error

Durban — The ID10T is a famous IT in-joke: the IT people tell users who report a lame, easily resolved fault, such as not checking connections, that they have an ID-ten-T error.

If you read it in letters, it says idiot – that user behind the keyboard.

I have been mortified and shamed at being that ID10T enough times to know what to check before calling service desks and whining that something doesn’t work.

Checked it’s plugged in and the off-switch hasn’t accidentally been kicked under the desk behind the modesty panel. That the landline jack hasn’t been pulled out: some of them are remarkably iffy and come out at the drop of the handset.

Not a train smash when it’s just the phone, but in the olden days when we had modems, it was easy to call and grump at the service provider that it wasn’t working. They clearly had a lot of experience of the ID10T user: their first question was always: “Have you checked the plug/ connection?”

Once, I had to call my insurance company and ask if a freezer full of food was insured. That time, it wasn’t me. My first dog, Nitro, the gentle lab-hybrid who taught me about dog love, always curled up at my feet under the desk. Right next to the double-outlet plug. During one of his turn-and-curl manoeuvres, he had hit the switch.

Just the one – there was no alert to the loss of power from the computer or lamp. Just very warm, melty stuff when I made my less-than-frequent trips to the freezer to find something to cook.

I was grateful the insurance person didn’t laugh out loud when I explained the dog had turned the power off. Nitro and my other lab, Tina, were the delighted recipients of anything that was unfit for human consumption but not vrot enough that it wasn’t a gourmet treat for dogs. The desk was repositioned so his bottom was nowhere near the plug when he snuggled in at my feet.

One day this week involved calamities on the insurance and IT front. On the same day.

The hard drive collapsed. It had given some warning signs and the ID10T had checked and checked again. The power was on. The cables had not been dislodged by an errant dog bum, tail or human foot. They were pulled out and put in dozens of times. The plug point was exchanged to eliminate that possibility and the tried, tested and often accurate “switch it off and on again” IT trick had been thoroughly exhausted.

I really hoped it would act like so many devices, and cars, had done before. You know, when you get the car to a mechanic, that knock or squeak disappears. When the IT person is watching, the problem will not “replicate”, as they say in the IT biz. You are the focus of the gaze that says you are an idiot.

The hard drive was only a calamity because, well, deadlines and work. And fear of being the ID10T.

Then it struck again, and I’m ashamed to say the dogs got the blame at first: which one of them had peed in the bathroom? But this was a huge pee, right beneath the geyser. Now full of doubts about my ID10T status, I had to call the insurance people and suggest that perhaps the geyser had popped.

Doubt is a Bad Thing because your ability to problem-solve is called into question and you have to wait for an IT guy or a plumber to tell you you haven’t lost the plot. You just have a crippled hard drive and a burst geyser. No sweat.

Losing the ID10T tag, especially twice in one day, is an overwhelming relief.

Independent on Saturday