How to teach your children good manners

It's a familiar complaint: "Kids these days have no manners!" 

While it's easy to blame a generation, the truth is that good manners aren't something we're born with, it’s something that has to be taught. 

In a world increasingly dominated by screens and fast-paced interactions, the traditional lessons of "please" and "thank you" seem to be getting lost. 

This guide is for parents who want to proactively instil a sense of courtesy, respect, and social grace in their children, ensuring they grow into thoughtful and well-adjusted adults.

Manners begin at home

The first and most crucial step in teaching your children manners is to model them yourself.

Children are like sponges, and they learn by observing. Your home is their primary classroom.

Speak with courtesy: Use "please," "thank you," and "excuse me" with your partner and your children. This makes polite language a natural part of daily conversation.

Show respect: Treat everyone in your family with respect. Listen when your child is speaking without interrupting, and ask for their opinion. 

This teaches them to value others' perspectives and to expect a similar level of respect in return.

Share and cooperate: Demonstrate sharing and cooperation in your own actions. 

Let your child see you sharing the last biscuit with a sibling or helping your partner with a chore without being asked.

Age-appropriate lessons

Teaching manners is a continuous process that evolves as your child grows and develops.

TODDLERS

At this stage, the focus is on simple, repetitive phrases and actions.

"Please" and "Thank You": Make it a game. When they ask for a toy, prompt them with, "How do you ask for that nicely? 'Please...'" and then immediately respond with, "Thank you!"

Sharing: Start with sharing toys. Use phrases like, "It's [child's name]'s turn now, and then it will be your turn." This introduces the idea of taking turns.

Using a gentle voice: Encourage them to use a "nice, gentle voice" when speaking to others.

YOUNG CHILDREN 

This is a critical period for solidifying core manners and introducing new ones.

Table manners: This is the perfect time to teach the basics: chewing with their mouth closed, not talking with food in their mouth, and asking to be excused from the table.

Empathy and consideration: Help them understand why manners are important. "We say 'thank you' because it makes the person who gave you the gift feel good and shows them you appreciate their kindness."

Greetings and introductions: Teach them to look people in the eye, offer a handshake, and say, "Hello, my name is [child's name]."

TWEENS AND TEENS

As children become more independent, the focus shifts to more complex social situations and the digital world.

Digital etiquette: Discuss the importance of being kind and respectful online. 

Teach them about not using all caps (it's like yelling), thinking before they post, and the concept of a "digital footprint."

Conversation skills: Encourage them to be active listeners, not just waiting for their turn to talk.

Teach them to ask questions about the other person's life and not to dominate the conversation.

Respect for elders: Explain the importance of showing respect to grandparents, teachers, and other adults, even when they disagree with them.

Teaching manners isn't just about raising a polite child; it's about raising a person who is considerate, empathetic, and respectful of others. 

In a world that can often feel disconnected, the simple acts of courtesy and respect are more valuable than ever. 

By dedicating time and effort to teaching your children these fundamental skills, you are not only giving them the tools to succeed in social situations but also helping them become good, kind people.

IOL Lifestyle

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