Reimagining fatherhood: Blaque Nubon challenges South Africa to embrace present fathers

“If we’re going to heal South Africa, we need present fathers. Not just at home but in heart, in mindset and mission.”

These are the powerful words that linger after a deeply honest conversation with Blaque Nubon, a podcaster, a husband and father.

Renowned for his "That Husband Podcast", Blaque isn’t interested in praise or platitudes.

He’s here to challenge how we think about manhood, fatherhood  and the ripple effect these roles have on families and society at large. And this Father’s Day, he wants us to think twice.

The truth about fatherhood in South Africa

Growing up in Tembisa, Blaque’s early years were shaped by the rare presence of an actively involved father.

“In my whole community, I was the only kid with a present dad,” he said. “It gave me a front-row seat to something powerful; a model of love, service, leadership.”

But at 15, everything changed. His father - once emotionally and spiritually invested, publicly affectionate with Blaque’s mother, and respected in the community - walked away without warning.

“It felt like a coach who trained me for life, then disappeared when the game started,” he says. “I kept looking to the sidelines for guidance … and there was no one there.”

The silence that followed didn’t just leave questions, it left wounds which shaped Blaque’s choices, his view of himself, and even how he approached manhood.

“I went in the complete opposite direction of who he was. I thought: if he could flip like that, what’s the point of doing things ‘right’?”

South Africa has one of the highest rates of absent fathers in the world. According to Stats SA, more than 60% of children live without their biological fathers. And it's not just about physical absence, it's emotional withdrawal, broken trust, and the silent inheritance of pain.

“But another thing I was concerned about was just the growing despondency when it comes to the institution of marriage, particularly among young men. As a result, young men don't see the value of being a husband. They don't see the worth of marriage anymore and how it's beneficial and even good for their lives and their futures. A lot of people are not getting married.

"And then I think the reason that's connected to why people are not getting married is because people who are married are not wearing the jersey in ways that are attractive to those who are outside the institution. So a lot of husbands are not behaving like husbands. They're not behaving in ways that would be attractive to other young men that would say to them that being a husband is something desirable.”

Time to buck the trend

But Blaque believes this trend isn’t irreversible and his podcast offers men a safe space to open up.

“I started the podcast because I knew I wasn’t alone.

“There are husbands out there who are showing up, not perfectly, but purposefully. They’re doing the work, and I want young men to see that marriage, fatherhood and community-building aren’t things to run from.

“If we want healthy neighbourhoods, we need healthy families,” Blaque says. “And if we want healthy families, we need men who are emotionally literate, who love loudly and who see fatherhood as a calling, not a burden."

A new kind of fatherhood

What makes this story powerful is not its tragedy, but what grew from it.

“Many men are walking around with scars they’ve never had space to unpack. 'That Husband Podcast' is my way of saying: ‘Here’s the mic. Let’s talk about it.’ And it’s not just for men. It gives wives, partners, even daughters a window into what our men are battling silently.”

This Father’s Day, instead of just buying socks or planning a lunch, let’s ask deeper questions: What does it really mean to show up? Are fathers doing enough to nurture the next generation? And how can we as a country do better?

The call to action - whether you’re a father, a son, a mother, or a community member - is a conversation that matters. We’re all affected by the presence or absence of good men.

“Children don’t just soak up love, they soak up pain too,” says Blaque.

“We have a choice: pass down brokenness … or healing. So here’s the challenge this Father’s Day: Be the kind of man or support the kind of man, who breaks cycles."