For some, Valentine’s Day is all roses, teddy bears, and overpriced dinner specials. But let’s be real, not everyone is feeling the love. For those still side-eyeing their exes, a few zoos overseas have come up with the perfect way to move on: by naming a cockroach after them. Yes, really.

Several zoos in the United States have launched Valentine’s Day revenge fundraisers, allowing the heartbroken (or just plain petty) to symbolically squash the past by dedicating a roach, rat or even a vegetable to a former flame.

And in some cases, those roaches aren’t just getting a name — they’re getting fed to the zoo’s residents. Jeepers creepers. Talk about revenge being a dish best served... crawling!

“The Bronx Zoo” in New York is running its now-annual “Name a Roach” campaign, where for a small donation, you can immortalise your ex with a Madagascar hissing cockroach.

“Roaches are forever,” their website cheekily reminds participants.

And if naming one isn’t quite petty enough, the “San Antonio Zoo” in Texas has stepped it up with its “Cry Me a Cockroach” campaign. For a fee, donors can have their named cockroach, a rat, or even a vegetable fed to one of the zoo’s hungry residents.

Justin Timberlake won’t be to thrilled about that title.

Because nothing says I’m over it like watching a meerkat chow down on a symbolic representation of your past mistakes.

San Antonio Zoo offers poop-scented candles just in time for Valentines' Day,,, pic.twitter.com/l6jrpBmViM
— helen henning (@helenckh) January 28, 2024

For those looking for the full revenge package, the “San Antonio Zoo” is also offering a unique Valentine’s Day candle — scented like hippo poop. Yes, poop. Apparently, hippos use their, uh, fragrance to attract mates, so now you can gift the smell of rejection to an ex or a someone who needs a reality check.

So, will any South African zoos hop on the trend? We wouldn’t be surprised. Imagine naming a roach after the one who ghosted you, or the ex who still owes you money, or an apology for that matter, and having it fed to a Cape cobra at the Johannesburg Zoo.

Now that’s a Valentine’s Day to remember, for some, at least.

These quirky fundraisers certainly spice up the usual Valentine’s Day routine. Who needs flowers when you can name a cockroach after your ex instead?

Though, let’s be real, there are some out there who pet cockroaches, so this might be a little too much for them to handle.

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