AI love scams: don't let your heart get hacked

The digital dating scene has shifted from swiping right for love to navigating a high-tech minefield.

We’ve moved past the era of grainy photos and obvious typos. Today, scammers use Agentic AI, autonomous digital personas that don’t just chat but build deep, emotionally complex lives designed to mirror your perfect partner.

"February usually brings a sense of quiet optimism," shares Nairah Dinah, a development manager at Sumsub.

"People tend to open up emotionally more at this time of year. While we know online dating isn’t new, moments like this, when we are feeling open-hearted, can create space for scams that don’t appear to be scams at all."

In South Africa alone deepfake fraud skyrocketed by 269% in 2025. When a match looks real, sounds real, and is constantly available to validate your feelings, it’s remarkably easy to let your guard down.

"So when they ask you for money transfers some weeks or even months later, you wouldn’t even notice anything suspicious.

"What makes this even trickier today is how convincing online profiles can be. Some scammers now use deepfakes, realistic but fake photos, voice messages or videos made to look and sound like real people.

"They may even impersonate celebrities, taking the fake relationship to an entirely new level for their victims."

Whether it’s an AI-generated Brad Pitt deceiving fans in France or dating syndicates in shopping malls, the common thread is the exploitation of trust.

Here is how "Artificial Intimacy" is reshaping modern romance, and how you can protect your heart and your bank account. 

Anatomy of an AI scam: the 4-stage script

Modern scams are rarely impulsive; they follow a calculated psychological playbook known as the "Scam Lifecycle".

• The hook: It starts with a simple DM on social media, a "wrong number" text, or a perfect match on a dating app.

• Love bombing and isolation: The AI provides 24/7 attention. It remembers every detail of your childhood and mirrors your humour perfectly. The goal? Move you to WhatsApp to bypass the dating app's safety filters.

• The "pivot": Instead of asking for a plane ticket, they suggest "investing together". They’ll guide you to a professional-looking crypto platform where your "profits" appear to grow.

• The extraction: Once you try to withdraw your earnings, you’re told you must pay a tax or fee. After you pay, the scammer and your money vanish.

The red flags to look out for

The old warning signs are obsolete. Today, look for these "superhuman" traits:

• Superhuman attentiveness: They never sleep, never have a "bad day", and respond instantly with poetic, flaw-free messages.

• Rapid escalation: They discuss a shared future, marriage, or "forever" within days of meeting.

• Financial integration: They steer conversations toward crypto, gold or passive income opportunities early on.

• Platform pressure: They are desperate to get you off the dating app.

The gold standard rules

Traditional advice like "ask for a selfie" no longer works; AI can generate one in seconds. To stay safe, follow these rules:

• The money rule: If a romantic interest you haven’t met in person mentions money or investments even coyly, as a gift or tip, it is 100% a scam.

• Verify via action: Deepfakes often glitch with physical interference. During a video call, ask them to do something random like "wave a spoon in front of your face" or "turn your head slowly in a full circle".

• Slow down: AI scammers operate on quotas. If you refuse to move off-platform or talk finances, they will eventually move on to a "faster" target.

Pro-tip: If you suspect a scam, stop contact immediately. Do not try to outsmart them; these are often run by organised syndicates using professional psychological playbooks.