Sanlam's campaign aims to break the silence on money conversations

In a bid to increase financial literacy, Sanlam has launched an initiative aimed at encouraging South Africans to break the silence around personal finance.

While conversations about love, careers, and personal struggles flow freely among friends, money remains one of the most uncomfortable topics to discuss. Sanlam’s Dirtiest Word campaign seeks to change that by urging people to drop the real F-word—finances—into their daily conversations.

According to the campaign’s research, 47% of South Africans avoid money discussions because they feel personal finances should remain private. 23% worry that talking about finances will make them seem boastful, and 22% fear that discussing money could lead to requests for financial help.

Author and personal finance expert Sam Beckbessinger stresses that honest conversations about finances can help remove feelings of shame and isolation. “Don’t treat it like a competition. Be honest about your messy bits. Share your actual budget, not your fantasy one. Just be kind and curious, and remember, we’re all figuring this stuff out as we go. The best thing that happens when we open up to others is the realisation that we’re not alone.”

Sanlam’s chief marketing officer, Mariska Oosthuizen, agrees that open discussions around money can improve relationships, mental well-being, and financial decision-making. However, the campaign’s findings reveal that 21% of people feel insecure about their finances when comparing themselves to friends, and 20% feel pressured to keep up financially.

Beckbessinger says people hesitate to talk about money because it is so closely linked to self-worth. “It’s wrapped up in shame, fear, and that sneaky voice saying, ‘everyone else has it figured out but you.’ The antidote? Be brave and go first. Start small: ‘Hey, I’m trying to save for a house. Anyone else freaking out about property prices?’”

She says that people often mimic the spending habits of those around them, even when it is financially harmful. “Even spreadsheet-wielding money nerds feel the urge to upgrade just because their ‘tjomma’ bought a toaster with a screen. But left unchecked, that impulse can drain your bank account. The fix? Figure out what you actually want—not Instagram-you, real-you. Then build a financial plan to make it happen.”

Social media plays a major role in shaping unrealistic financial expectations, warns Beckbessinger. “For all you know, someone could actually be drowning in debt and subsisting on expired noodles and tomato sauce. We now compare ourselves to the world’s richest, you can go online right now and see what Beyoncé’s guest bathroom looks like. Unfollow what makes you feel inadequate. Mute influencers. Spend less time online and more with people who value real connection over performative brunches. Real connection doesn’t require spending money.”

Licensed therapist and mental health advocate Luxolo Isabelle Dywili encourages people to adopt self-compassion in their financial habits, rather than comparing themselves to others. She suggests:

• Practicing gratitude: Focus on what you have rather than what you lack.
• Mindful spending: Before making a purchase, ask yourself if it aligns with your values or is simply an attempt to fit in.
• Financial affirmations: Replace negative financial self-talk with statements that reinforce healthy financial choices.
• Therapeutic journaling: Writing about financial struggles can help reframe negative beliefs and reveal unhealthy patterns.

Dywili also urges people to normalise setting financial boundaries without guilt or shame. “Be transparent about your limitations. If a topic feels uncomfortable, it’s fine to say, ‘I’d rather not discuss that.’ The same goes for experiences. If it feels unaffordable, just say, ‘That sounds fun, but I’m sticking to a budget this month; can we meet somewhere else?’ Being upfront and confident in your financial boundaries teaches others to respect them. True friends will understand and appreciate your honesty.”

Beckbessinger says that financial circumstances differ, and money conversations should come from curiosity rather than judgment. “Your friendships are valuable, so value them. They’re good for your health and happiness, and they literally help you live longer.”

Oosthuizen echoes this sentiment, stating that comparison can damage friendships by preventing genuine support and shared learning. “Compassion-led conversation, for self and one’s friends, is the best way to deepen a relationship and feel less alone. As Sam says, we’re all just figuring it out, so let’s figure it out together.”

Sanlam’s campaign hopes that by encouraging South Africans to discuss their financial challenges and goals, people will feel less isolated and develop better financial habits. Instead of avoiding money talk, perhaps it’s time to drop the F-word and start honest financial conversations.

PERSONAL FINANCE