Why emotional intelligence matters in financial advising

There is no shortage of financial information, but credible, compassionate guidance remains difficult to find. For South African families, the true value lies in advice they can trust, built on sound principles and genuine understanding. While access to financial information has never been easier, applying it meaningfully remains a challenge. What many households need is not more data, but clarity, context, and a conversation grounded in their lived experience.

This is where emotional intelligence, often overlooked in traditional financial training, becomes a key differentiator. Families are under immense pressure from the rising cost of living to the emotional weight of supporting extended family.

They need someone who will do more than offer products. They need an adviser who will listen and understand. Emotional intelligence helps us uncover the ‘why’ behind a decision, not just the numbers.

Once a customer feels seen, they are more likely to share their true financial concerns. That’s when the real work begins.

Financial decisions are seldom purely rational. They are influenced by emotions, cultural obligations, and the daily trade-offs between immediate needs and future goals. South Africa offers the lifestyle of a first-world economy, but most people face third-world financial pressures. With one of the highest unemployment rates, working individuals are often supporting several others, and that stretches financial planning to its limits.

People are constantly forced to choose between meeting their current needs and planning for the future, and very rarely can they afford to do both at the same time.

In one example, a young couple approached me for help in funding an overseas holiday. Rather than rejecting their request, I took time to understand the emotional significance behind it. As they talked, I realised the trip was less about leisure and more about a desire to create joyful memories as new parents. By listening deeply and asking the right questions, I uncovered an even more pressing concern: their anxiety about affording quality education for their child.

We painted two pictures. They saw that prioritising their child’s future meant more, and they still got their holiday, just locally. It wasn’t about saying ‘no’; it was about helping them align their spending with what truly mattered. Helping customers manage these tensions with empathy is key to building financial confidence.

Here are seven practical ways financial advisers can develop emotional intelligence to connect with customers and build long-term trust:

1. Validate emotions early: Acknowledge how your customer feels, even if the emotion seems small. When people feel heard, they are more likely to engage honestly.
2. Adapt to life stage: Tailor advice to the customer’s current circumstances. What suits a young graduate may not suit a growing family. Personalised guidance builds credibility.
3. Pause and listen: Hold back on offering immediate solutions. Deep listening reveals the emotional triggers behind money choices, often fear, guilt, or uncertainty.
4. Share your own journey.
5. Open up about your own financial lessons. It creates relatability and shows you understand more than just the technical aspects.
6. Invest in the relationship: Focus on long-term connections rather than one-off transactions. Supported customers become loyal customers and advocates.
7. Make it visual: Use scenarios and simple visuals to help customers grasp the impact of their decisions. A visual insight often resonates more than raw data.
8. Know when to push back: Emotional intelligence also means saying “no”, kindly, when short-term wants threaten long-term goals. Customers value honest, caring advice.

The truth is, most customers don’t need to be sold a product. Don’t close a sale, open a relationship. Be the person they trust with their finances, their fears, and their future.”

* Ndou is the regional manager at Old Mutual Personal Finance.

PERSONAL FINANCE