Beyond Valentine's Day: why financial honesty is the ultimate love language

This Valentine’s Day, as couples cosy up over candlelit dinners, there’s another kind of intimacy that deserves attention: financial honesty. With many South Africans feeling the squeeze of rising living costs, it’s no surprise that money is a major source of tension in relationships. In fact, according to the 2025 DebtBusters Money-Stress Tracker, 91% of respondents felt that money stress affected their home life. This highlights just how crucial it is for couples to get on the same page about their finances.

Credit confidence is a cornerstone of any healthy partnership. Credit confidence is about knowing exactly where you stand financially and having a plan – so you can make informed decisions together. This Valentine’s Day, we’d encourage couples to have open conversations about money. It’s one of the most meaningful things you can do for your relationship.

From shared accounts to spending red flags, here’s how your love life and your credit life are more connected than you think. 

 Credit scores are more enduringly sexy than six-packs

Looks fade. Financial habits stick around. When you’re choosing someone to build a life with, their relationship with money matters just as much as chemistry. A financially attractive partner isn’t about earning the most - it’s about how they manage what they have.

Here’s what makes them a great catch:

• They pay bills on time – consistency builds trust in money and in relationships.
• Know their credit score – awareness shows ownership of their financial life.
• Can talk about money without defensiveness – openness beats secrecy.
• Have goals, not just expenses – whether it’s saving for a car, a course, or a home.
• Live within their means – stability is more romantic than stress.

Financial responsibility isn’t about being perfect - it’s about being intentional. When both partners understand their credit standing and are working towards goals, it strengthens not just their finances but their relationship.

 Your partner can affect your credit score

Not initially, but once you share financial products, they will. Co-signing a loan or opening a joint account means both parties are legally responsible for the debt. If one partner misses a payment, it reflects on both credit records.

With only 17% of millennials currently holding home loans, according to Sanlam’s Credit Confidence Index, many couples are working towards this milestone together. Understanding each other’s credit behaviour before co-signing a bond is, therefore, essential.

Valentines Day is romantic, but not worth getting into debt over

Celebrating love shouldn’t come at the cost of your financial well-being. Instead of grand gestures funded by debt, consider more personal alternatives, like a home-cooked meal, a thoughtful handwritten note, or a planned outing that doesn’t require a credit card.

It’s not about avoiding spending altogether, but about making conscious choices. Financial stress often comes not from one extravagant purchase, but from small, unplanned expenses that pile up. By planning, you avoid the panic that leads to leaning on credit you can’t afford.

 You should talk about credit and money as early as possible

When do you talk about finances and credit? Before you need to. Having honest conversations about money early on can prevent misunderstandings and conflict later. It’s not about judging each other’s financial past; it’s about understanding habits, goals, and attitudes towards money so you can plan together.

Before making shared financial decisions like moving in together, buying a car, or applying for a home loan, have a clear picture of your combined financial position. Discuss credit scores, existing debt, and long-term goals openly and without shame.

The good news is you don’t have to navigate any of this alone. Platforms like Sanlam Credit Solutions give you free access to your credit report, personalised insights into what your score means, and access to dedicated credit coaches who can help you build a plan that works for your situation, whether you’re flying solo or building a life with someone. 

This Valentine’s Day, give yourself and your partner the gift of financial confidence. The most romantic thing you can do might just be sitting down together and talking about money.

* Darko is the business head at Sanlam Credit Solutions.

PERSONAL FINANCE