Finding the G-spot: A treasure hunt with no map

My favourite dad joke at the moment is – Do you know where the G-Spot is? 

It can be found between F and H! 

This one little spot caused so much confusion, curiosity, and (let’s be honest) unnecessary performance pressure for women everywhere.

I often wonder what was going through the mind of Dr. Ernst Gräfenberg, the German gynaecologist who, in the 1950s, first described this mysterious erogenous zone. 

He was a he, of course, which makes one wonder what exactly he was doing when he “discovered” it. Whatever the circumstances, the rest is history, and the “G” in G-Spot was born.

Here’s the truth: most women (around 80%) orgasm from clitoral stimulation, not penetration. Penetration can feel wonderful, it’s intimate, it’s connecting, and yes, it can make him feel like the hero of the hour but for the majority of us, the clit is the real star of the show. 

Only about 20% of women orgasm through penetration alone, which means the rest of us have been sent on a treasure hunt we didn’t sign up for, searching for this elusive “spot” as if it’s the Holy Grail of pleasure.

And if we don’t find it? Well, apparently Freud would have called us “immature” and accused us of “penis envy.” Bless him. Another man who couldn’t find the clitoris.

So, if your partner subscribes to that outdated nonsense and refuses to learn how to give your clitoris the attention it deserves, I say let him go and find one of the mythical 20%. As for the rest of us, we’ll take our orgasms wherever and however we can get them, thank you very much.

The Elusive G-Spot – Fact or Fantasy?

Modern research has shown that the G-spot may not be a single “button”, but rather part of a larger pleasure network involving the clitoris, vagina, and urethral sponge (the area of erectile tissue behind the pubic bone). 

Some studies even suggest it’s just an extension of the internal clitoris, which makes sense, because that organ is far bigger than the tiny nub most people think of.

Interestingly, about 5–10% of women may not have a noticeable G-spot at all, or at least, not one that responds in the same way. So, if you’ve been searching and coming up empty-handed (literally), stop stressing. Pleasure isn’t one-size-fits-all, and you’re not missing a part.

Top Tips for G-Spot Exploration

For the curious and adventurous, here’s your (consensual, solo or partnered) road map:

• Location, location, location: The G-spot is about 2–5cm inside the vagina, on the upper wall (toward the belly button). Everybody is unique, so don’t expect a Google Maps pin.
• Texture check: When aroused, the tissue feels slightly raised and textured. Some describe it as “velvety corduroy.” It becomes more noticeable when blood flow increases, so you’ll find it more easily when turned on.
• The “need to pee” feeling: That urge means you’re in the right zone! Breathe, relax, and keep going. Do NOT pee, it’s just not sexy! With gentle pressure or massage, the sensation shifts from odd to deeply pleasurable.
• Solo scouting: It’s often easier to explore alone first. A curved toy can help think Lelo Gigi, Eros G with some Eva G Spot serum, or Pjur lube. All available on www.lolamontez.co.za - And please, for the love of all things sensual, keep your toothbrush out of it. Hospital staff have seen things they can never unsee.
• Technique matters: Lie on your back with your knees bent, insert your toy (or clean fingers) and angle toward your belly button. Use a “come hither” motion, gentle at first, then firmer if it feels good.

You might find you’re a soft touch or a rough rider; both are perfectly normal. You may even reach orgasm from this alone, or you may just feel an intense, full-body pleasure that complements clitoral stimulation. 

Either way, it’s about discovery, not destination.

When Partners Join the Hunt

If you’re exploring with your partner, turn it into a playful game, not a scientific expedition.

Lie on your tummy with your hips slightly raised and let him (or her) use a clean hand or G-spot toy to explore gently toward the belly button. We sell a blow-up wedge that works fantastically. 

Fingers tend to work best — the classic “come hither” motion hits the right angle.

Pro tip: keep penetration (with a penis) for later. It’s easy for him to get “lost” once he’s in the driver’s seat! Once you’ve found the spot and built some rhythm, that’s the perfect time to invite him to join in and who knows, you might even discover new kinds of orgasms together.

About Female Ejaculation

Yes, some women do experience ejaculation during G-spot stimulation. The fluid isn’t urine; it’s produced by the Skene’s glands, located near the urethra, and is often described as similar to semen in composition. It’s perfectly natural, just maybe warn your partner first, unless you want to see pure confusion followed by awe.

In Conclusion: Stop Stressing and Start Enjoying

The G-spot isn’t a test you need to pass or proof that your body “works.” It’s one of many ways to experience pleasure, connection, and intimacy. Whether you find it, stimulate it, or ignore it entirely, you are not missing out.

So, go forth and explore with curiosity, laughter, and lots of lube. And remember, the only “right way” to orgasm is your way.

Explore our full range of G-spot toys, lubes, and guides at www.lolamontez.co.za - where pleasure meets confidence.