Inside his dirty little mind: We asked men the questions you scream into group chats

Once upon a pre-pandemic time, Lola Montez hosted what can only be described as the Olympics of oversharing. Five very brave men (ages ranging from “still living on ramen” to “I need to stretch before I sneeze”) were invited to answer women’s burning questions about sex, love, and relationships.

The only rule? Be honest or be silent.

Armed with Post-its, women scribbled down every outrageous, awkward, and NSFW (Not Safe For Work) question they’d always wanted to ask. These were slapped up on the wall like confessions in a very naughty church, and each man had to pick at least five to tackle.

Now, the fun part? Watching the questions they didn’t pick. Apparently, topics like cheating and what happens if she gains a few kilos are like kryptonite to male honesty. Funny that.

Meanwhile, the recurring greatest hits?

• Oral sex (how to give, how to receive, how not to chip a tooth while attempting)
• Anal sex (porn’s fault, obviously)
• Body issues (a.k.a. “Does my vagina smell like a freshly baked croissant, or…?”)

Vaginas: Do they pass the sniff test?

Ladies, spoiler alert: yes.The men, despite years of schoolyard jokes, actually find vaginas enticing. Sure, they’d prefer we shower first (fair request, really) and maybe trim the hedge into something manageable (think “rice grain length”, apparently that’s a unit now?). 

But do they demand a bare Barbie doll crotch? Nope. Most think the fully shaved look is a bit too… kindergarten chic.

Oral Sex: A DIY guide

We asked. They answered. And surprise! Technique matters.

Forget the myth that “any blowjob is a good blowjob.” Men are big fans of the hand + mouth combo, a steady rhythm (you’re not a DJ scratching vinyl), and, this is a kicker, eye contact.

Preferences vary on extras: some like teeth (carefully), some like heat/cold tricks, others just want you to avoid going rogue mid-performance.

And yes, the deep throat plus the eternal spit vs swallow debate deserve their own article. Stay tuned, we promise diagrams.

Anal Sex: The forbidden fruit

“Why do you guys love anal so much?” we asked. The answer? One word: porn.

Apparently, porn made anal sex seem like the must-try dessert on the sexual menu. Men describe it as tighter, different, and more mental than physical. It’s the “naughty” factor that gets them going.

But do men want their backdoor explored? Ehhhh, not so much. Even though prostate stimulation can make their toes curl harder than Black Friday shoppers, most guys won’t admit curiosity.

The no-go zone questions

And then there are the questions men expertly dodged like Neo in The Matrix:

• Why do men cheat?
• What happens after she has a baby?
• What if your girlfriend gets fat?
• What separates a fling from a forever?
• Why don’t men do housework?
• How do we actually get you to talk about what you want?

Apparently, some secrets are best left buried. Or maybe saved for tequila night.

The encore

If your curiosity isn’t satisfied yet (and let’s be real, it never is), you can catch the full unfiltered chaos on YouTube or checkout our FAQ section on www.lolamontez.co.za. Who knows maybe one day they’ll tackle the “avoided questions.” 

Until then, we’ll keep laughing, learning, and wondering:

Inside his dirty little mind… what else is lurking there?