Not much of the school remained. The buildings and playing fields were given a revamp at the turn of the century, and the synthetic grass of the sports field was guaranteed for 1 000 000 tournaments or (until) the year 3023, whichever came first.

With the most popular subject, gaming, the fields were used for droning competitions and an activity that never disappeared throughout the 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th & and 8th industrial revolutions. This activity is still known by its original name – “athletics”.

Freddie Mann, better known to the school community by his Cemis number 561019, ambled along the ghostly corridors towards his classroom. All students were known by their Cemis number only, and it was said that all these changes came about when a principled principal acted to protect his learners during a pandemic that killed thousands.

There were no human teachers left, and as Freddy sat down in front of his monitor, he greeted his neighbouring student, number 850919.

The large music type of computer, which acted as his class teacher, made beeping sounds, then a squeaky voice uttered the following – Load data for subjects “intergalactic mathaknow” and supply answer to nuclear fuel needed booster x37 with a mega limit for 24 cycles.

The five minutes of silence was only interrupted by the tapping of keys and eventually by the beep beep and the instructions to load data

– a sudden flashing of lights and acknowledgement from the teacher that he/she had received a message from the office.

The dreaded words echoed throughout the school. Number 561019, report to the office immediately!

As 561019 walked towards the office, he wondered about the reason for his summons. Nobody got called to the “Big Brain” as the computer that did duty as the principal was known. After using all his plastic cards and numbers, he was granted access to the office.

During the pandemic, the Education Department was run by a son of a b*tch called Brainless Hubris. This individual’s family is still being garnished for his hubrism.

At last, Freddy entered the office, and there were barks, shouts and threats made about unpaid school fees. “You are warned to pay for your education within 10 days or be expelled”. This was an unfortunate legacy of a certain political prostitute, who, with Hubris, believed that they were the answer to education.

Flashing red lights told him that he was dismissed. Slowly, he walked towards the exit and overheard two computers arguing about the menu for the forthcoming SGB elections. They seem to favour peanut butter because of the high oil content.

On entering his number, he was warned to pay or be dropped from the athletics team. He vowed to pay the outstanding fees and that he would pull the plug on the school after the A Section Athletics meeting, which was to be held on the school fields immediately after their annual 24-hour marathon run.

* Wesley Neumann, Pelican Park.

** The views expressed here are not necessarily those of Independent Media.

Cape Argus

Do you have something on your mind; or want to comment on the big stories of the day? We would love to hear from you. Please send your letters to arglet@inl.co.za.

All letters to be considered for publication, must contain full names, addresses and contact details (not for publication)

#curriculum

Matric results gloss over the dismal performance of our basic education system

‘During the pandemic, the Education Department was run by a son of a. . . ’

Many people who lack formal education but have made it in life