Wynonna Judd is “incredibly angry” at her late mother Naomi Judd for taking her life.
In her first interview since country star Naomi, 76, died by suicide in April, musician Judd, 58, opened up to CBS Sunday Morning how she is still struggling with her feelings of grief.
She told correspondent Lee Cowan about hearing about the tragedy: “I got the call, and I went over, and I saw her and I said goodbye to her in the hospital.
“I closed her eyes, and I kissed her forehead, and that was that. And next thing I know, I’m sitting here on the side porch, and I’m just trying to figure out what’s next.
“I did not know that she was at the place she was at when she ended it, because she had had episodes before and she got better.
“And that’s what I live in, is like, ‘Was there anything I should have looked for or should I have known?’ I didn’t.”
Asked if a feeling of anger will ever disappear, Judd added: “No, I don’t think so, not for a while.”
Telling how she still feels her singer mother’s presence, Judd said: “I feel her nudging me. And sometimes, I laugh. And sometimes I say, ‘I really miss you. Why aren’t you here so we can argue?’
“She told me one time, she took my hand and she said, ‘My life is better because of you.’
“Those are the memories that are starting to come through, more and more. I think when you lose your mother, a lot of that c*** goes away, because it doesn’t matter anymore, it just doesn’t.”
Judd, who sold more than 20 million albums with her mother, is preparing to perform in what would have been The Judds’ reunion tour.
She said: “As I walk out on stage that first night, I’ll probably say something like, ‘It’s not supposed to be like this,’ because it’s not, right? It’s supposed to be the two of us. And I’m gonna be angry because she’s not there.”
She spoke after it emerged Naomi left Judd and her actress daughter Ashley, 54, out of her will.
The singer instead appointed her husband of 33 years Larry Strickland executor of her estate, giving him “full authority and discretion” over her assets “without the approval of any court”.
The toxicology report on Naomi revealed she had a string of drugs in her system at the time of her suicide, including medications for treating insomnia, Parkinson’s disease, depression and seizures.