As the pressure mounts for the Matric Class of 2024 awaiting their results, a clinical psychologist has called on parents to acknowledge their children’s effort and show empathy, especially if their results fall short of the expectations.
Many learners are currently battling with overwhelming stress, anxiety, depression, as they are waiting for their results, worrying about whether they will pass, get distinctions and even be able to further their studies.
The results of the Matric Class of 2024 are set to be released on Monday, December 13, by Basic Education Minister Siviwe Gwarube and Deputy Minister Dr Reginah Mhaule.
While no parent wants to see their children fail Grade 12, things do not always go as expected.
This can result in disappointment for both the parents and family members.
Clinical psychologist Vuywethu Tuluma told IOL News that it’s important for parents to manage their own expectations if children do not meet them.
“It’s important for parents to manage their own disappointment and remember that their child’s worth is not tied to their achievements.”
Tuluma stressed that instead of focusing on unmet expectations, parents should acknowledge their children’s efforts and show empathy for how the child might feel.
“Reactions should be grounded in love and encouragement, avoiding blame or criticism, as this could harm the child’s self-esteem,” she added.
Parents should be prepared to offer emotional support, regardless of their children’s results, by reflecting on their own expectations and whether they stem from the child’s abilities or the parent’s desires.
“Understanding that academic results are only one part of a child’s life can help parents provide balanced support,” Tuluma said.
Creating open communication and a safe space for children to express their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgement is vital, she said.
Tuluma urged parents to remain calm, compassionate, and mindful of their own reactions and avoid projecting disappointment into their children.
She emphasised that if the children are disappointed with their results, parents should acknowledge those feelings and reassure them that it’s okay to feel upset.
“Let the child express their thoughts without interrupting or dismissing their concerns,” Tuluma advised.
Offering encouragement, such as reminding the child of their strengths and past achievements, can also help, she added.
Tuluma said parents should emphasise that setbacks do not define the child’s future and that their worth is not determined by academic performance.
“Spend quality time with the child, showing them that their worth is not tied to their grades.”
Tuluma also encouraged parents to help their children view “failure” as an opportunity for growth or new possibilities, by sharing their own experiences with setbacks and how they overcame them.
“Teach the child that failure is a steppingstone to success, an opportunity to learn and improve. Emphasise the value of perseverance and hard work over achieving perfection,” she told IOL News.
She said parents should explore other options together to help the child identify areas for improvement and create a plan to move forward.
“This could include a possible rewrite or a bridging course, which can offer hope and direction for the future.”
Tuluma urged parents to regularly affirm that the children’s value is not tied to their grades or achievements, regardless of the matric outcomes.
“Parents should recognise and appreciate the child’s unique strengths and interests beyond academics, including encouraging the child to try new things and embrace challenges, helping them build confidence in their abilities,” she said.
IOL News