Why Who Delivers the Message Matters More Than What They Say

When I first encountered Messengers: Who We Listen To, Who We Don’t, and Why by Stephen Martin and Joseph Marks in 2021, it was a single question on the cover that caught my attention: “Are attractive people more believable?”

That simple prompt sparked a deeper curiosity about trust, influence, and the psychology behind persuasion. At the time, I only skimmed the book. But revisiting it recently, I found myself immersed in its layered insights and practical relevance.

The Central Thesis

The book’s central thesis is clear. We don’t evaluate messages purely on their content. Instead, we judge them based on who delivers them. “When a message is delivered, the messenger becomes tied to that message in the listener’s mind,” the authors write. This idea is both intuitive and unsettling. It means that even the most factual, well-reasoned argument can be dismissed if the messenger lacks perceived credibility, warmth, or status.

Key Traits of a Messenger

Martin and Marks identify eight key traits that influence whether someone is listened to: competence, likeability, authenticity, warmth, credibility, status, vulnerability, and dominance. These traits are not just abstract concepts. They are backed by behavioural science and illustrated through real-world examples.

One concept that stood out to me was the halo effect. This psychological bias leads us to assume that someone who is physically attractive also possesses other positive traits, such as intelligence or trustworthiness. It is a shortcut our brains take, often unconsciously. But attractiveness is not the only factor. The authors show that someone who appears competent but cold may be less persuasive than someone warm but less polished. Trust, it turns out, is multidimensional.

Personal Reflection

This insight made me reflect on my own communication habits. Why do I perceive my voice as more credible than that of others? How often do I dismiss valid perspectives based on who is speaking rather than what is being said? The book challenged me to confront these biases and rethink how I listen and how I present myself.

Implications in Media and Marketing

In media and marketing, this understanding is crucial. We operate in a saturated space where believability is not just about polished content. It is about how audiences perceive the messenger. Warmth, honesty, and relatability are just as vital as knowledge. A distant or overly polished voice can alienate, while vulnerability and openness can draw people in.

Take the example of Jacinda Ardern, former Prime Minister of New Zealand. Her leadership style was marked by empathy, transparency, and vulnerability. During the COVID-19 pandemic, she held regular Facebook Live sessions from her home, often in casual clothes, speaking directly to citizens. Her warmth and authenticity made her messages resonate, even when delivering difficult news. She embodied the messenger traits Martin and Marks describe, and her influence extended far beyond political circles.

Corporate Communication

Contrast that with the corporate world, where executives often rely on scripted statements and polished presentations. While these may convey competence, they can lack the human touch that builds trust. In my own media experience, I have seen how audiences respond more positively to content that feels personal and genuine. A well-researched article may be ignored if the tone feels distant, while a candid reflection can spark engagement and dialogue.

The Power of Vulnerability

The book’s research into vulnerability was especially revealing. Being open about limitations does not weaken your message. It strengthens it. It makes you approachable. “Vulnerability, when expressed appropriately, can enhance trust,” the authors explain. This is particularly relevant in professional settings, where admitting uncertainty is often seen as a weakness. But in reality, it can make you more relatable and trustworthy.

Building Authentic Connections

As a reviewer, I have learned that sharing genuine insights and acknowledging flaws is what builds a bond. That bond feeds into likeability and authenticity, two traits that make messengers more persuasive. It is no longer enough to be informed. You have to be human.

Practical Applications

So what can professionals do with this knowledge? How do we apply the lessons of Messengers in our daily work?

1. Lead with warmth Whether in a pitch, post, or presentation, show empathy and openness. People trust those who feel relatable. This does not mean being overly casual. It means being sincere.

2. Balance competence with humility Expertise matters, but arrogance repels. Share your knowledge without posturing. A confident but humble tone invites trust.

3. Be consistent Authenticity grows when your words align with your actions. Stay true to your voice across platforms. If your LinkedIn profile says one thing but your emails say another, credibility suffers.

4. Show vulnerability Admit what you do not know. It builds trust and invites dialogue. In client meetings, acknowledging uncertainty can lead to more collaborative problem-solving.

5. Understand your audience’s biases Tailor your delivery to resonate with how they perceive credibility, not just what you want to say. For example, in a high-status environment, demonstrating expertise may matter more. In a community setting, warmth and relatability may carry more weight.

6. Use storytelling to humanise your message Facts inform, but stories connect. Share personal anecdotes or client experiences to illustrate your points. This activates emotional engagement and makes your message memorable.

7. Curate your messenger presence Think about how you come across visually and verbally. Your tone, posture, clothing, and even your digital footprint contribute to how others perceive you. This is not about vanity. It is about intentional communication.

In today’s noisy digital landscape, Messengers offers more than theory. It is a guide to ethical influence. It reminds us that being heard is not just about speaking louder. It is about becoming the kind of person others want to listen to.

It is worth asking ourselves not just what we believe, but who we believe—and why.