Point of view: how financial abuse traps victims of gender-based violence

As South Africa marks the 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence (GBV), our conversations often centre on bruises, broken bones, and emotional scars. Yet, there is another form of abuse that rarely makes headlines but quietly erodes lives: financial abuse.

Financial abuse is not simply about disagreements over budgeting or a partner being “bad with money.” It is a deliberate, manipulative strategy designed to strip someone of independence, dignity, and the ability to leave a harmful situation. It is the scaffolding upon which other forms of abuse are built.

Scrolling through social media recently, I came across a post from a young woman in Cape Town who bravely shared her experience. She wrote:

“I thought I was just being supported when he asked me to quit my job. He said he’d take care of everything. But soon I had to ask for money to buy bread. He controlled every cent, and when I tried to open my own account, he drained it. I realised I wasn’t a partner in this relationship – I was a prisoner.”

Her words struck me because they echo what countless women endure in silence. Financial abuse doesn’t leave visible scars, but it leaves victims trapped, unable to walk away because they literally cannot afford to.

Ralene Grobler, a financial adviser at Momentum Financial Planning, outlines clear signs that financial secrecy has crossed into abuse:

• Information lockdown: Refusing to share account details, PINs, or income information.
• Allowance or restriction: Dictating how every cent is spent or forcing you to ask for money for necessities.
• Hidden debt: Discovering loans or credit taken out in your name without consent.
• Career sabotage: Discouraging you from working or studying, ensuring you remain financially dependent.
• Controlling savings: Preventing you from having your own account or draining any savings you manage to build.
• Fraud and forged signatures: Signing documents in your name or coercing you into co-signing.
• Isolation from support: Discouraging you from seeking advice from family, friends, or professionals.

These behaviours are not “quirks” or “relationship problems.” They are calculated acts of control.

In South Africa, where economic inequality already leaves many women vulnerable, financial abuse is a devastating weapon. It ensures that victims remain dependent, unable to escape, and often too ashamed to speak out.

We need to stop treating financial abuse as a “secondary” issue in the GBV conversation. It is not secondary, it is central. Without financial freedom, leaving an abusive partner becomes almost impossible.

Grobler says if you recognise these patterns in your own life, know this: it is not your fault. The first step is acknowledging the reality of your situation. The next step is carefully planning for financial independence. This may mean discreetly consulting a financial adviser, opening a separate account, or reaching out to organisations like POWA (People Opposing Women Abuse), which offers free counselling, legal services, shelter, and support. You can call +27 11591 6803 for help.

Financial abuse thrives in silence. By naming it, sharing stories, and demanding that it be recognised as part of GBV, we empower survivors to reclaim their agency.

Because freedom is not just about walking out the door – it’s about having the means to survive once you do.

* Maleke is the editor of Personal Finance.

PERSONAL FINANCE